Ups and Downs

So, the past few days have been filled with some ups and downs.

Shortly after my last post, I got some other not so awesome news. I got an e-mail from our doula saying that she has some family situation that is going to require a lot of her time over the next month or two. She mentioned finding a back up, which is OK. But, we really like her and felt comfortable with her being present for the birth. I'm still waiting to hear back from her about setting up a meeting with this other potential person. So, it's not a huge deal since having her (or anyone) there isn't necessary, but just another little bummer when I'm already feeling a bit stressed about our little journey towards medical interventions that I really don't want.

But, on that note, my resolve to have a natural birth seriously came crashing down this weekend. Friday night, I was woken up with a fairly painful contraction followed by several hours spent in the bathroom sick as a dog while experiencing lower back pain and cramps/contractions. At that moment I only hoped that it was the beginning of labor, because I wasn't really thrilled with feeling that horrible for no apparent reason. I'm sorry to report that while the back pain and crampiness have continued...I am still very much pregnant and not in active labor.

Remember that whole lull in movement? Yeah, that's over. Baby Girl was rockin' in the free world yesterday, amist all the discomfort. And, apparently during the night she discovered that one of my arteries makes a good pillow. I woke up with a headache and took some tylenol which did nothing. I got up again...and instantly felt better. Weird. I got back in bed, and before I could even go from sitting to laying down, my head felt like it was going to explode. I stood back up. Headache gone. ::Repeat for an hour:: Finally, I decided to just pace the room for a few hours. Eventually, baby girl woke up and moved around, and instantly, I was able to sit/laydown again. Um...OK.

I did, however, get started on my freezer stash of food yesterday and hope to finish more today. And, now that it has stopped raining, the carseats that arrived on Thursday will be installed.

While I am grateful for still having time to finish up a few random things on my list, I have to admit a twinge of disappointment that this was not *the* weekend. For someone like me who likes to know what to expect and to have all the details planned, waiting to go into labor is the worst torture in the world. While I generally disagree with inductions based on convenience, I am secretly jealous of those who have these nice planned births. I wish Baby Girl would just whisper to me the date she planned on making her arrival. Come on, tell me. I promise I'll keep it a secret...